I can't believe it is true I quit drinking.
If you asked me five years ago, if I would be able to quit drinking. There was no way. "Give me a glass of white wine, leave the bottle, and shut up."
Some of my alcohol conditioning had been formed since childhood growing up in a steakhouse, surrounded with lots of beer and wine. I was taught at a young age that wine was important to culture, people, and community. That might be true for some people but those beliefs were no longer serving who I was as a person. An adult woman that has the power to choose how I live. What I put into my body. How I spend my time. I did not want alcohol to be a part of my life anymore. I made it my goal to quit drinking by age 40 and I have! It wasn't easy.
Yes, I have had some really good memories with people drinking. Alcohol use to be fun until it became my EVERYTHING. It became hard to disguise between drinking in the fun times with family and friends to drinking every night and gaining weight.
I was suffering in my own personal hell of alcohol. I wanted to quit drinking but did not know how. Alcohol was my life, my friend, and the best coping mechanism. I didn't know any other way. Sometimes, I thought alcohol was the safest way through my problems because that is what I knew. I didn't know life without alcohol.
I spent my days stuck in past pains and staying stuck there in the bottle. Coping with my world with alcohol. It was not until I actually stopped drinking that I was able to move past these emotions. Yes, at one time in my life alcohol was serving me, helped me blackout drunk to my pains, I thought alcohol was actually the safest thing for me to get through the pain. I don't do pills. I drank a bottle of vodka.
But It is true I did quit drinking. I realized and accepted the truth of what alcohol really does to me, my body, and its effects on my life in general.